October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and yesterday we attended a balloon release memorial. It was so touching to see all of these people come together to remember all those precious babies but it also was incredibly saddening. As Jason and I held onto our balloon, I saw women/couples with multiple balloons and my heart just broke. We are so absolutely blessed to be expecting a healthy baby girl and looking around I was reminded of all the pain and sorrow and devastation that I felt when we found out we had lost our baby last year. We had a prayer and a moment of silence and sent up our balloons towards heaven in remembrance of our angel babies.
Now that I am very obviously pregnant, people often ask if this is our first and sometimes that is a difficult question to answer. I usually say that this will be our first child after a loss. I don't mention it for sympathy or to make anyone uncomfortable but because it was a life that was lost. Aspen is not our "replacement" baby for the one that was lost. Our first baby was his/her own special person and one day I know we will meet again.
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